I've made like a ton of progress in the past week. Not like, weight wise but I decided to not be a vegetarian anymore. I thought I would be a vegetarian forever, but now I realized that I just wanted to be a vegetarian to feel special. See, when I first started recovery I wanted something besides my eating disorder (because I was trying to get rid of it) to make me feel special.
At the time I didn't really realize that I was a vegetarian for that reason. I've never really liked any other meat except chicken, unless it's hidden in something like meatballs or meat and rice or something. So that was another reason to be a vegetarian.
But what I didn't really realize was the side effects of not getting enough protein. I sometimes got really tired for no reason and pretty weak too. It wasn't from lack of food, but from lack of protein. I also really craved chicken too and I just denied myself enough protein for a long time. I finally admitted I didn't want to be a vegetarian anymore at the dietitian's. My mom actually started crying! And my dad said he was really proud of me. I guess I'm proud of myself too. It's still hard to get protein, but soon eating protein will get easier.
I also bought some bigger jeans. I haven't worn this size in likee 8 months? At first it was really scary but then I was like- why does this have to be such a big deal?! They're just jeans, and I want more breathing room than the smaller jeans.
I'm also starting to hang out with friends a lot more(: And I start a new high school in two weeks, I'm so excited. Staying at home all day really isn't that fun at all.
The best part is I'm starting to feel.. normal again(: I'm still underweight, but I think I can finally start to live the life the I want to, not the life Ed wants me too.