I think I'm going to be taking a break from the blog world for a while. I really have to try and focus on myself right now, and being happy, and recovering and stuff. I have to focus on all the positive things in life or else I'm afraid that I'll become really sad again.
I'm finally starting to not get REALLY depressed at night so that's a good sign(: I guess the only thing I'm afraid of now, is the clinic I go to. I just want to be DONE. I feel normal again. I don't feel 100 % cured, but I feel like a normal girl again. I'm not sure what I'm going to do.. I don't really want to put a huge effort into gaining weight because I feel what I'm doing is okay. I'm eating enough to feed my body, and I'm eating whatever I want.
I guess I feel that when I focus on recovery and eating disorders and sad things and all that, I start to get caught up in it all, and it's really hard to stop thinking about it. Like when I start talking about my eating disorder, like now, I start body checking, obsessing about food, calories, everything.
But when I'm with friends and I'm having tons of fun, I really don't think about food and just eat whatever I want and don't let my eating disorder get to me. The eating disorder is always in the back of my mind and it doesn't bother me because I'm not letting it control me.
I'll blog again when I'm in a better place in my life and eating disorder and stuff.
Thanks for listening <3 data-blogger-escaped-br="">And remember, you're all beautiful (:
Stay strong dearie. Take as much rest as you need. We'll all still be here for you when you come back <3
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to see you leave for awhile, you will certainly be missed, but I understand why a break will be helpful to you. :-) I think you have a good point that focusing on your friends and getting out of your head and just focusing on living life free of your eating disorder rather than writing on it/focusing on it will be helpful and empowering. I want you to know that I have an incredible amount of respect for you, Danielle. Your posts and comments never fail to inspire and encourage me. You are an amazing person, and it makes me so happy to see you feeling better and taking care of yourself! You have come so far and I am so proud of you. Rock on girl and take care. Always remember that you are a strong, beautiful person. We will all be thinking of you and wishing you the best of luck! <3
ReplyDeleteI hope you keep commiting yourself to recovery Danielle. I know that it feels good to not think about your disorder and you feel normal being out there and with people. But if you still are underweight, I wouldn't want you to disregard taking care of that. If you try hard and keep yourself happy, there's no reason why you can't have it all. Happiness, and HEALTH!!
ReplyDelete<3 Tori
Good idea! Way to put your mental health first.
ReplyDeleteI think that you are very mature to recognize your needs, and that maybe this is holding you back. Go for it, Danielle! You are so strong. Wishing you the best!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad to hear that you're doing well :)
ReplyDeleteYou'll be in my thoughts
<3 Haley
I'm SO happy you're doing awesome!!
ReplyDeleteMy posts have gotten more and more spread out partially for the same reason - ED likes it when I give him attention and when he isn't as apart of my life anymore I don't pay much attention to him.
You are an inspiring girl and I am encouraged so much by the comments you have left on my blog and the posts you have done!!
Stay strong and rock on girl!!!! :D