Friday, January 21, 2011


Sorry I've been gone the past week! I've been trying to stay off the computer a little bit. I'll try to at least blog though(:

Everything has been going pretty well, I guess. I've been a little happier so I think the prozac is starting to kick in. I've also been eating more and I'm trying to at least fit in one snack. So far I've gained like 1 lb but that isn't much. I thought I had gained 5, but of course that was just Ed trying to manipulate me again.

I was talking with the family therapist about weight and body image and we started working on ways to fight back to Ed. Like if he said;

-Don't eat that brownie or else you'll get fat.
I could say;
-Actually, I won't get fat. I need to gain weight and eating one little brownie won't make me gain a ton of weight. Besides, I like brownies(: They're good and I'm not going to let you stop me from eating it.

Or if he says something about me like;
-Your legs are fat. Go to a gym already! No more sweets. And it's 1000 calories a day from now on, okay?
I could say;
-My legs are not fat and I am not fat. I hate that word! Stop calling me fat and stop bullying me. I want to live my life and not have you tormenting me.

So far I've said those things back and he doesn't have a response(: The past few days I've even had some fear foods too! Like a nutella sandwich. I've always been afraid of nutella because of the calories, but now I think it's really good! I had a nutella sandwich like two days in a row I liked it so much. I also had a regular peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Before, I would eat the frozen kind because it had the calories on the back but now I like making it myself. And I even added extra peanut butter this time(:

Have a great weekend everyone! I might update again this weekend.


  1. I'm so proud of you, Danielle!!!! I'm glad to hear that you're been feeling happier, that is wonderful news! :-) And congratulations on your progress! I know that eating more and facing fear foods is far from easy, but you're working so hard and doing an awesome job of talking back to the ED voice- that is going to pay off (and it sounds like it already is paying off!). HOORAY on the nutella! I had nutella for the first time in the hospital and I've loved it ever since! Definitely one of my favorite foods now. :-) Keep up the great work!

  2. Well done you!!! Great job on facing some fear foods - that's a big step. I love your logical responses to the ED's horrid put downs.

  3. Its so great to hear from you, Danielle!
    I'm glad your doing well. Keep talking back to the ed.

  4. Glad to hear you're getting through it! You can beat Ed. You are! I'm happy to hear you're eating what you enjoy and aren't letting Ed get in your pretty head. :)

  5. Way to go Danielle ~ I am so proud of you for talking back to ED!! =D And for trying new foods!!

    I too have been a bit off blogger but enjoy reading posts when i have time...

    Have a great weekend! <3

  6. Nutella is the bomb!! I know what a struggle you're going through, but just keep fighting that voice trying to control you. Remember, you NEED those calories! So why not enjoy the food you get to eat?

    I know the frozen sandwiches you're talking bout. Uncrustables? The round ones? Yeah, those don't even come close to a real pb&j!! Haha

  7. I'm happy to hear that you've been so strong in saying NO to your ED :)
    You're such a smart, beautiful, and caring young woman, but the ED tries to mask these traits by telling us that we are not good enough.
    You DESERVE that brownie! You're right that you DO need to gain weight, so go for it!
    1 pound is nothing. Weight is just a number, anyway. It goes up and down all the time. We just need to make sure that we keep a healthy state of mind and try to stay away from restriction. That is when happiness is found :)
    P.s. Yay for nutella and pb sandwiches!
    I gave up pb while I was dealing with my ED which is funny because it is literally my favorite food.. is it food? ha
    Anyway, I actually still have yet to eat a PB sandwich.. Weird, huh? I've had pb waffles, a pb bagel, pb english muffin, pb w/ pretzels, but for some reason a peanut butter sandwich still scares me.
    But you know what? I think I'm going to have that for lunch sometime this weekend :)
    Thanks for being such an inspiration.
    Keep fighting

  8. You're so strong, girl. So strong. Good job with dealing with the fear foods. You definitely are an inspiration <3

  9. So glad you're doing good! Keep talking back to the ED and keep fighting! <3

  10. Good job on defying your ED like that. And the nutella and peanut butter sandwiches both sound delicious.

    Keep up the good work!

  11. I love your talk back...and I had wondered what you were up to!
    And, you know what your grandfather would say about those brownies, don't you?