A dream of what could have been

One thing that i haven't really shared is my dream. My dream, is to be a model. This wasn't really the main reason i became anorexic but it was one of them. Going to auditions, i felt confident. Something i never feel, because i knew that i was the thinnest person there and i had exactly what they were looking for. This wasn't necessarily true. Each agency/model management company is looking for something different. It isn't always thin girls. And i have to realize the model management company i am with now, is going to accept me no matter what.

Still, every time i look at those thin, thin models on the runway, i get really sad and dream of what could have been. I could have been out there. I could have been one of them.

My dream still is that i will be out there one day. But this time, when i picture myself out on the runway, i have a big smile on my face and i'm healthy.