People always tell me- You're so mature for your age! Yeah, I guess I am. But I really wish I wasn't.
As I mentioned before, I was going to have a sleepover today. I was so excited. I got some diet pop, some pop tarts, went to therapy, picked J up and headed over. It was pretty fun when we first got there. We all talked and laughed about stupid stuff for 2 hours. Then, I had to go to the bathroom because I had just drank a ton of diet pop. I got back from the bathroom, they're laughing and I felt so left out. It just went downhill from there. It's like they formed their own group that I wasn't allowed in on. I did everything I possibly could to keep from crying. I called my mom, told them I was "sick", and I went home.
I was SO sad afterward. It was my first time hanging out with people my age again, and it was awful. They didn't really put any effort into trying to include me in the fun. I felt so bad about myself, I felt boring, useless, and hopeless about life overall.
But later, I realized that not everyone is like that. There are some mature people my age out there. I can't just label my whole age group as immature. Maybe that school and the people that go there, but not everyone.
I have to keep thinking, I will meet some wonderful people. I have to stay positive. I have to see my future as bright. Not gloomy, dark & depressing.
But what I have learned, is no one likes feeling left out. So when I'm hanging out with people and someone is feeling left out, I will do everything I can to make them feel included and accepted.
I have a big heart. I just need people to fill it with.