What is healthy eating exactly? My eating is so up and down, I'm not even sure. Lately, I've been feeling that I've been eating really unhealthy. I mean yeah, i eat a lot of fruits and lean cuisines and stuff but i feel like i eat a lot of bad stuff too. But maybe that's just my eating disorder talking. The thing is, when i eat healthy no matter what the portion amount, i feel good about what i ate. If i eat say, a chicken strip basket with fries and a medium chocolate shake, then i don't feel good about what i ate and i feel like i ate way too much.
Back when i was only eating 500 calories a day, i had it in my mind that healthy food wasn't good. I would only eat like a donut and a small candy bar because it would satisfy my cravings and i was only eating so little so i might as well eat what i want right? Well, now i want to eat healthy. And eating healthy doesn't mean depriving yourself of sweets or pizza or something. It means eating it in moderation. So i don't get sick of it. And so i don't feel bad about it.
It's weird, when i list off my favorite foods now and compare it to back then, it's completely different. I used to love chocolate and eat it everyday but now i actually prefer fruit over chocolate! But my all time favorite food is Green tea. I loveee anything green tea. Green tea ice cream, green tea frappuccino's, green tea cake, they even make green tea Kit Kat's! Too bad they only sell them in japan.
When i think about recovery, it seems so hard. So much like a long road ahead that never ends. I did see my nutritionist today though. She said i was looking so much better, i had a smile on my face, and some color to my face too. And when i think about how miserable i used to be, recovery suddenly seems worth it. Weight gain doesn't feel as horrible anymore and life seems great. Getting up every day doesn't feel like a chore anymore, and I love that.