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I never used to be the one to cry over my body. And bad part is, I've been doing it a lot lately. I'm not getting sad over my body now, but over the body i might have. Of course, i know this is stupid and useless but i really can't help it. I don't really know why I'm doing this. I guess the need to be perfect is still there, which i hate. No one is perfect. Not even celebrities. So why do i want to be?
I'm trying to have the ED not control me, but it is one way or another. I still panic if a food is a certain number or calories and still feel bad if i eat more than i normally do. Only now, i eat pretty healthy and don't starve myself and try really hard not to look at calories. I really wish calories was never.. invented. Or found out about. It makes everything worse and people with ED's aren't the only ones obsessed about calories. Other people are too. It seems like in today's society, everyone is. Society shines a light on really thin people and says they're perfect. But does that mean everyone else fails in comparison?
In god's eyes, we're all perfect. Just the way we are. There's no need for diets, botox, plastic surgery, or any other thing because we're perfect just the way we are.
One thing i have decided to do differently, is eat every three hours. It doesn't overwhelm me and it feels great for now. The only thing i need to worry about now, is portion sizes. I'm not going to be perfect, and i have to accept that. Imperfection is perfect.
You are right, there is no such thing as perfection and people are silly to even think there is. We are all unique, different and indicidual and that is what makes us all so special, there is only one you, one me,there is only one of us, so we might as well be ourselves, whoever that person is.
ReplyDeleteIt is so totally ok and normal to have conflicting thoughts during recovery, with u knowing one thing and ed saying another, just keep ignoring whatever ed says and youll stay on a good path,
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In God's eyes we *are* all perfect. I try to remember this whenever I'm feeling sad or defeated. It is much harder, however, for us to see that same beauty in ourselves. God knows best. Trust in his design.
ReplyDeleteWho's to decide who is "perfect" anyway? That skinny girl over there could be the biggest waste of space ever because she has no intellect or kindness. You can't judge a book by it's cover, and people who do aren't worth listening to.
ReplyDelete"I'm not getting sad over my body now, but over the body i might have." You make so many strong points that I can relate to all too well. I'm glad you realize that perfection does not exist. Who gets to choose the definition of perfection anyway? It could be anything. Stay strong.
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