Sunday, December 26, 2010


Christmas, wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. My normally crazy family, was actually somewhat normal this time(: My aunt is getting a divorce and she usually starts drama, but this time she was very happy! And she wasn't pretending either. And my grandma! She was soo happy:D Usually she complains a lot and talks to people about her health problems but she didn't say a word about them all night! I was so happy for her(: I missed that grandma, I feel like I haven't seen that side of her in a long time.

Eating at my uncles house, actually went okay. I did skip breakfast that day which helped relieve my anxiety a bit, and I ate pretty balanced there too. I did drink an awful lot of diet coke and powerrade zero, but I didn't feel guilty about food the whole night.

The only problem that night was, I didn't want to open my presents along with everyone else. We went in order from youngest to oldest, each person being on display and 5 different people taking pictures of that person. Everyone kept bugging me to open them, but I just ended up opening them up when everyone was playing games. It's not that I was being snotty or anything, I just didn't want to be on display for everyone. I'm not sure why I'm okay with that with my dads side of the family.. maybe because I feel more comfortable with them. On my moms side I almost don't feel as accepted. Like I have to watch what I do or say.. I feel kinda judged with them. Oh well. It was all okay in the end(: I spend most of my time there playing games & playing with the dog.

Christmas day, actually went okay too(: I spent most of the day opening presents, but my favorite part was when my dog opened her presents! She's so funny(: After that, I curled my hair & got ready to go out, and me and my mom went searching for restaurants (my dad was too lazy to get off the couch..). We ended up going to Denny's and I was so happy because they actually have a veggie burger on the menu now!:D Yayy! It was okay, but I was still happy that they had something different. After that we saw Little Fockers(: It was soo funny!

The only bad part about Christmas this year was that I wasn't very excited. I was mostly worried about food and weight and such. But I'm getting two more people added to my treatment team on Wednesday & Thursday so I will get more help(: My family will get help with finding a balance of help and control. I can't have them not caring what I eat (like today!) but I also can't have them control every thing that enters my mouth & not giving me any encouragement about eating.

It will all get better eventually. God is on my side, he will help me out of this<3(:


This is my aunts dog that I was taking care of last Monday(: She's soo cute! She never really leaves your side which can get kind of annoying, but she's still fun.

This is me in my Express Christmas outfit(: I was kinda afraid to post pictures of myself at first because I didn't want to trigger anyone or anything like that but I want to finallyy post pictures. I'm not really afraid anymore.

My cute Christmas tree:D

My backyard! Look at all the snow!

I finally curled my hair with my new no clip curling iron(:

I think this is my new favorite song, I listen to it whenever I'm sad and it always cheers me up.

Have a great night everyone! I hope you all had a great Christmas!(:


  1. Glad to hear your Christmas went better than you anticipated. I understand the part about not fitting in with one side of the family. I'm the exact same way except with my Dad's side of the family. They never make me feel truly accepted. I've always been the black sheep, even before the eating disorder, so once that came along I was really alienated. Oh well.

    Your Christmas outfit is super cute! And you're right, God *is* on your side, and with God, all things are possible.

    <3 Jess

  2. I'm so glad that your Christmas went by pretty well. Keep up your good spirits! I'll try to remember to pray for you too. Btw, do you have a coolpix L22? B/c if you do, I have the same one in red.

  3. you look so beautiful! i'm glad you had a good experience on Christmas. i always feel a bit uncomfortable with my extended family, so you're not alone! keep working hard :)

  4. Cute pics! :) I don't think I would like being singled out when I was opening my gifts either. Usually, in my family, we all take turns opening one present so everyone only gets attention for a short time. But, I'm glad your Christmas was nice overall. Each year as you go through recovery will get better and better. Just keep you faith in God and yourself!<3

  5. glad ur xmas went well, i love ur shirt!i really want 2 see th littke fockers movie!! xxx

  6. Hooray!! I'm glad your had a good Christmas and worked through it.

    That dog is SO cute!

    You though are beautiful! I love the outfit too btw. :) I'm so glad you got over your fear and posted them - you have nothing to be ashamed of. It is wonderful to put your name and face together.

    God will never leave you or forsake you! He is always there even when we sometimes can't feel Him. And like lifeafteranorexia said, with God, all things are possible!

    I can't imagine opening my gifts in from of everyone with a camera. At my house we usually go around starting youngest to oldest and we GIVE a gift to someone. We all run out of gifts at different times but it's a lot more fun (for me anyway!).

    Stay strong, Danielle!!


  7. awe your outfit is so cute! I love express

    Dana xo

  8. YAY! I'm glad to hear Christmas was not as bad :) !! i love your outfit :)


  9. My Christmas was sortof similar..cause I was so aware of all the junk in my head (and yes I skipped breakfast too)
    Love your honesty I LOVED seeing your happy face!

    I get comments because I take many pictures of myself and I worry...but basically... I am ME.
    I like children's books and illutrations and basically my posts are for me... so please do not inhibit yourself based on what people may think of your photos, you know?

    So, I am glad you were able to see your christmas through a new set of eyes. Why exactly the discomfort from opening the gifts?
    I ask cuz I feel the same way...recentlty I realixed how obstinate I am in recognizing that not only GOD but people LOVE US!

    I love you too. There I said it.