Monday, December 13, 2010


I've been feeling really hopeless the past few days. The ED monster has been really hard.
I haven't been able to get away from him.

Until now.

I was watching multiple videos on YouTube about anorexia hope. I couldn't find any good ones, so I decided to create my own hope.

I went to the mirror, and started taking pictures. Ed planned to take over. But what really happened, was I saw myself. It was like seeing myself for the first time. The girl I saw in the mirror didn't look at all what I usually see. She was sickly skinny. She looked sad.

I'm going to keep those pictures, whenever Ed feels like lying to me. Whenever I'm having a hopeless day, to prove that I'm not what he says I am.

Also, I'm going to get a gym membership. Nooo, not to lose weight. I made a promise to myself. Only workout for 20 minutes. Don't workout if I feel fat. Or if I feel like I ate too much. I don't want working out to be a cover up for what I'm really feeling. I want it to be motivation for me to get healthy. I don't push myself when I'm working out. I can't, my body can't handle it.

I'm also, not going to rely on calories anymore. An 800 calorie sandwich, is not going to kill me. It's going to make me healthy. And it wouldn't hurt me to eat one of these either.

I actually eat one every day for breakfast. With soy milk(:

And, I'm going to change this blog name to Beating Ed. Because that's what I'm going to do.

Everyone has hope inside them. All you have to do is go to the light. It will help you get out of this horrible place. You CAN recover. All you need is a little hope, and people to guide you to it.

And always remember this.

<3 Have a great night everyone!


  1. dlgkjsdlgj YOU ARE SO AWESOME! seriously, this is such a wonderful post and I am so incredibly proud of you. I'm glad you won't using working out as a way to distract you from your feelings, but as motivation instead. Maybe it can be a reward for when you are eating well and feeling strong. You are doing so well and reading about your determination to get better really strengthens me :)

  2. That was really inspiring, Danielle!
    I'm really happy for you :D

  3. I love the new blog name, Danielle!!! Sounds like a good idea about the gym membership. :-) No worries, I know exactly what you mean about exercising for healthy reasons. I'm starting to enjoy exercise for the point of getting STRONG- ED made me so weak, but I want to feel powerful and physically capable in my body.

    I'm glad that you were able to find your own hope. You are such an inspiration!!! Keep it up, Ed doesn't stand a chance! <3

  4. I love this post! You have come so far in your recovery. It is SO good to see you gaining back the strength, spunk, and spirit to beat ED!

    I like your gym resolutions! Thank you for the inspirations! btw, that cupcake looks amazing! Did you make it?

    Like Jess said, ED doesn't stand a chance!

  5. Rock on!!!!! :)

    I am glad that you are seeing this in a different light and using a new mean of protecting yourself against ED.

    Hugs. <3

  6. : ) !!! !!! !!!


    I'm stuck in a damn rut at the moment with ED stomping all over me, this post definitely helped!!! : ) Thanks so much for sharing!!


  7. Love the new name! You are beating ED every day. Keep it up Danielle! There's always hope. You continue to inspire me in my own recovery and give me hope that I can beat this too. Take care!

  8. YOU CAN DO IT! all it takes it one step, then another, then another! keep ur best foot forward and remember that RECOVERY is NOT impossible!xxx

  9. hey there!
    I just found your blog and i love your spirit for fighting the ED. I know it can be so hard when the ED strikes and tries to grap hold of us again. I wish you all the strength to beat this feeling today and hope you have a lovely tuesday