I'm not really sure why eating was so hard on Sunday, but it just was. I couldn't stand to eat anything, and my mom didn't really help me much at all. I want her to care, but I don't want her to control me either.. if she can't find a balance then I'll have to just try to take care of myself. I'm on my way there at least!
Yesterday, was okay. For dinner we ate out like we usually do at night (we're trying to stop) and I had a baked potato w/ broccoli, herbs, and cottage cheese. It was delicious! And I had fries and a smoothie with it too. I thought for once it was pretty balanced, I was kinda proud of myself(: And that I allowed myself to have fast food fries. I haven't had those in months!
When we got home, I watched some Degrassi and then went on Facebook. But something on there triggered me.. I'm not sure, I just kept comparing myself to some of my friends. Saying they were much much thinner and prettier than me. So I felt horrible and didn't even want to go to bed.
I always get really depressed at bedtime anyway, so with this hanging over my head I felt awful. I really wanted to talk to my mom and try to feel better, but she just kept saying go to bed over and over again, so I just went and cried by myself.
After she finally came to find me 20 minutes later, I was still really sad. But, my dog made me feel so much better! She kept trying to lick me and sit by me, and she wouldn't stop licking me until I felt better and stopped crying. If I stopped crying and then started again, she tried again too! There's no way feeling sad around her, she just doesn't let you!
So, I'm really thankful for my dog. Even if I have to fight by myself, this is one battle that I'll win.